Some notes on interdependence from Nichola Torbett, Director of Political Education and Organizing

Perhaps it has been hard for you, as it has for me, to wade through all the nationalism of this holiday weekend, compounded by the 250th anniversary celebrations.

Some of us counter the nationalism of Independence Day by celebrating Interdependence Day, instead. Interdependence is the bedrock of our lives. We breathe in what the plant beings around us breathe out. Even inside our own skin, we are each walking coalitions of hundreds of thousands of tiny beings who make our lives possible. 

Interdependence is one of those words that is relatively easy to talk about and considerably harder, in my experience, to do. Living in a way that honors interdependence requires us to notice that our actions impact others and take responsibility for that; to make direct, often vulnerable requests for help; to give and receive from one another; to feel into our “yes’s” and our “no’s,” when asked for help, and to respect them; to honor our own and others’ boundaries; to make good apologies; and to work through resentments. Steeped in a culture that prizes self-reliance, regularly extracts from us without consent, and treats people as disposable, many of us are unpracticed in these skills. I thought it might be helpful, this week, to offer some concrete resources to support conscious relational interdependence.

Interdependent with whom? I am a big fan of pod-mapping, which is a practice first named in the Bay Area Transformative Justice Collective that was my political home for many years. A “pod” is a group of people that you rely on, either in general or in a specific area of your life. For example, you might have a parenting pod, a recovery pod, an organizing pod, a mental health pod, and/or an accountability pod (people who will help you remain true to your principles and be direct and honest when they see you veering from them). The original pod map involves circles around you in the center that indicate your closest people, circles another layer out for people with whom you might be able to build more trust and relationship, and then organizations, institutions, and other resources in the outer corners of the page. You can find a new version of this map, along with several variations developed by Mia Mingus, here. 

Building Interdependent Community This Instagram post from @fossilisedflowers has some really practical ideas.

Yes, No, and Maybe For tuning into your “yes’s, no’s, and maybe’s,” try these exercises from Generative Somatics. Practice actually making decisions based on your body’s desires. I once heard someone say that no one can say “yes” fully if they can’t say “no.” Practicing honoring how your body says yes, no, and maybe can strengthen our ability to say a full-throated yes to interdependent life..

Giving Apologies Mia Mingus has written about how to give a good apology here. It’s also available in a shortened form here.

We can also practice interdependence and reciprocity with the land. For example, in the recent Lenape and Celtic Grief Practices retreat here at Kirkridge, we practiced “creek drinking,” or listening to water. After spending some time listening at the tarn, we each privately floated a question out onto the water. Then we made music for the water and practiced trusting that the answer would come. For more on reciprocity with land, consider joining us this fall for “with the land” with Susan Raffo. This is also work that Denise Crawn is doing in her Walking Awake offerings, including this Samhain retreat.

Finally, I wanted to let you know about an online webinar being hosted TOMORROW by our friends at Land Justice Futures. “Unmasking the 250th” will apply a critical historical lens to the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence, teach about the Indigenous roots of American democracy, and discuss the unfinished work of truth-telling, repair, and right relationship for the next 250 years. It will no doubt be good medicine.

I hope these resources prove helpful to your own practices of interdependence.